The Very Hungry Zombie

I got a complaint this blog hadn't been updated in awhile. It isn't because I haven't thought of anything, I have so many topics I'd like to pick your lovely brains on. But the writing it in such a way as not to terribly offend by thought or spelling has been a pain under the current circumstances. SO. Here is a pretty thought for today. Remember this book?

Yeah. I figured. Since everyone seems to be writing cookie cutter formulaic crap that is basically someone else's book and plot- well, hot damn!- I should too. So I'm going to write a children's book called.

THE VERY HUNGRY ZOMBIE

On the first day, the zombie ate 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar's' brains and it tasted good. But the zombie was still hungry.

On the second day, the zombie ate a mouse's brain. And it was mousy. But, oh boy! He was still hungry.

On the third day, he found road kill. Yum! So he just kept eating and eating. Brains galore! Ant eater brains, wolf brains, cute little pea sized robins brains , and even sasquash brains! But he was still hungry.

On the fifth day, he climbed the Seattle space needle and looked around at all he could see. People. He saw people. So he climbed back down and ate people brains. Lots of them.

On the sixth day, he wandered to Texas and hot damn darn! He found a crazy southern man pointing a gun at a guy who had a fro and pants hanging to his knees! Despite their skin colors, their brains tasted the same, but their racism gave him indigestion and his tummy hurt. So he went and wrapped himself up in a coffin of wood deep down beneath the dirt.

On the seventh day, he awoke. And he was no longer a zombie! No sir. He was a sparkly vampire!

The End.

The next book in the series would be called: The Very Thirsty Vampire.

**All comments and critiques are welcome, but unnecessary. I'm a rich b*tch and hollywood is printing this up becuz ya'll like my kinky hair, fake boobs, and faux rattle snake skin boots.


©JodiMacArthur, 2010